Self-introduction Email
Dear Professor Blackstone,
My name is Syazwan but you can address me as Wan for short. I am writing to introduce myself to you as a Year 1 student from your effective communication class. I graduated from Temasek Polytechnic with a diploma in Environment Design majoring in Architecture. Growing up my life was heavily involved in soccer being in the youth national team since I was 9. It has helped me to develop my extroverted character and personality as well as to manage high-pressure situations.
My name is Syazwan but you can address me as Wan for short. I am writing to introduce myself to you as a Year 1 student from your effective communication class. I graduated from Temasek Polytechnic with a diploma in Environment Design majoring in Architecture. Growing up my life was heavily involved in soccer being in the youth national team since I was 9. It has helped me to develop my extroverted character and personality as well as to manage high-pressure situations.
During my time as an intern at ECO.ID Architects, I had been tasked to work with the building engineers to manage the technicalities of a condominium my firm was designing. It then dawned on me the interest in engineering when I realised that I was more inclined towards the practicality of the building over the design as the practicality of an engineer's work brings more life into a building.
I would say that I'm fairly comfortable doing public speaking and playing soccer in front of a big crowd only if I see familiar faces supporting me. However, I do still get nervous despite having been in these situations. One takeaway I hope to learn is to tackle this problem more effectively and have more confidence going forward dealing with crowds.
Although I can communicate well, my greatest shortcoming in communication would be writing as I am unable to express my true self and portray my intentions through writing. This shortcoming of mine will taint my credibility, especially in a professional setting. The past few lessons have shown me that there is still much for me to learn to improve in my writing. Your ability to identify mistakes such as sentence structure and language issues in class is outstanding. Learning these skills will aid me to present my writings more professionally.
After attending this module, I am hoping to improve my writing skills. I want my writings to be on par if not better than my oral presentation when I submit my reports, proposals, and emails for future assignments. I look forward to the upcoming lessons as I believe that this module would help me achieve my true potential for school and the workplace.
Best Regards,
Syazwan
Effective Communication T5
Dear Syazwan,
ReplyDeleteIt is interesting to know that a person who has experience performing in front of a large stadium crowd still feel anxious when addressing an audience!
I enjoyed reading your email but there were instances where you tend to repeat your words e.g. 'writing' in paragraph 4. Perhaps the sentences can be structured in a way where you mention the skill once in the beginning of the paragraph and develop your message from there.
Your content is well structured, with each paragraph having a distinct point you are trying to get across. It would be nice to know which specific aspect of writing you wish to work on.
I look forward to our collaboration in this tutorial class.
Best regards,
Haziq
Hi Wantosan,
ReplyDeleteIs a pleasure to know more about you and I can see how well you perform in class based on your experiences that you have elaborated.
Your email is clear and elaborated nicely to understand. You have a good paragraph structure in a sense on how good you are trying to get the message across the readers.
I am confident that you will achieve your goal the same way how you write this email splendidly. I am looking forward to be cooperating with you through this module.
Best regards,
Bari
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDear Syazwan,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this richly detailed, informative and fluent letter. I thoroughly enjoyed learning about your sports background and the intern work you did. You do a fine job in ths letter in particular connecting your experience at ECO.ID Architects with your interest in engineering.
Your open reflection on a communication weakness is clear and finely illustrated as well. As you seem to indicate, being under the bright lights with a team in a football match is quite different from being on stage presenting.
I do hope this module can address whatever concerns you have for public speaking and for writing. Frankly, if this letter is any indicator, you'll be just fine when it comes to formal writing, and my guess is your speaking will be far above average to excellent as well.
Best wishes,
Brad